I met the Buddha at a downtown party
He was hanging by the pastries and the canapés
Just stuffing himself like there was no tomorrow
With a beatific smile all over his face

I said, "Dude, should you really be eating
All of that unhealthy stuff?
And you, being so enlightened and all
Don't you think you've had enough? "

He said, "I had to retire from that enlightenment biz
I don't have the answers, and I never did
They think I can help them, but I'm not that smart
So, here, have a piece of this blue blueberry tart"

You can have all of your sutras
And all your mantras and prayers
Let's have another beverage
By yonder tree out there

Now I don't exist
And neither do you
So, you're damned if you don't
And damned if you do
Well, all of this suffering's
Just a temporary thing
Right here is nirvana
Where the little crawdads sing

Now I don't exist
And neither do you
So you're damned if you don't
And damned if you do
Well, all of this suffering's
Just a temporary thing
Right here is nirvana
Where the little crawdads sing